I think i have to go back a bit so lennon can appreciate how much i love him. Buddy, this pregnancy was a hard one. I was really sick for probably 8 of the 9 months. There were a lot of car rides interrupted with puking and im not gonna lie, i have had more than my fair share of peeing my pants in the process. Haha too much info but it had to be said. At about 33 weeks i was diagnosed with gestational diabetes which at first for me was hard to swallow. I really struggle with feeling like my health declines when i am pregnant in general, but this one felt like it was all my fault...and now i had endangered you too my little sweetie. It was a bit of a roller coaster. At first i was so overwhelmed and depressed, but that quickly changed to me being highly motivated to avoid any further complications with exercise and diet. It was such a new experience to start a work out and eating program so late in a pregnancy. I was really uncomfortable but it definatly made me feel better to change my diet and become more active. Of course it wasn't all smiles after that, like i said, a roller coaster but i was able to keep you healthy so that was all worth it.
3 Weeks before you came your big brother and sister were fighting and teasing alot. This made me so nervous for you to arrive. How could i have a new little one when i felt so inadiquate to teach and take care of the littles i already had. Little did i know you would be so easy and bring such peace and joy to our house. Ever since you have arrived Boston and Story have been playing so much better. They love to hold you and help me get your diaper. The other day boston said, "Lennon is looking at me and he is thinking... Wow that boy is amazing" and i bet you were thinking that. Whenever the kids get hurt they just want to hug you and then they feel all better.
Sorry i have to backtrack again. So, toward the end i was feeling very emotional. A very good friend of ours was having a little girl whom i am sure you will be very good friends with, maybe even marry haha! Her name is camille. Well camille had a condition that had and still does have us all praying very hard for her. Because of the gestational diabetes i had three ultra sounds this pregnancy. This third one was long and i found myself laying there crying, worrying about camille, worrying about you. Feeling so overwhelmed at the possibility that something could be wrong with you and empathizing for all that my dear friends were experincing. I was so worried that i would break my diet and do something so selfish that could hurt you. I was so anxious for you to come. It was so difficult toward the end that i started to worry because i didn't feel that connection with you. Did I mention that we didn't find out if you were a boy or a girl.
Ok so the best part...I was going crazy so i asked to be induced 5 days early. We were so excited when they told us we could! Aunt Lexy came into town by chance right before you got here. It was such a fun way to spend the few days before having a baby! It was funny because the night before i had you was so similar to the night before I got married...Jason (daddy) Lexy and I watching You Tube videos, making a video, and then watching Baby Mama! It definatley took my mind off of things.
I went in to the Hospital friday morning at 7:30 AM. Dr Kazrzadeh broke my water at 12:30 then the next time they checked me i was a 10 and you were ready to arrive! At 2:30PM i started pushing, well i was so numb that i don't know if i was pushing but that is what i was told, wait... they said stop, he's out! It's a boy! 1/2 push and you were here. It was the most wonderful moment! I couldn't beleive that after such a hard 9 months and all the worry and disconnect, well, that i could love you so much! Especially since we thought you would be a girl (to be named Afton Emeline). You were so perfect and to my excitement you looked exactly like your daddy! It was so fun to see a little of both Boston and Story in you to. I just want you to know that i will always give every ounce of me to being the best mother, teacher, friend, and tool Heavenly Father would have me be. I know that God has entrusted me with your perfect spirit and i will not fail him or you. I love you Lennon Jay McIntyre
1 comment:
Oh Emy! I love this so much. You are such a wonderful mommy and little Lennon is lucky to come to your loving family. Thank you for such a good example! Can't wait to meet him and see you. XOXO
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