As a mom, i am always trying to find the balance between serving my family and taking care of myself, so that i can better serve my family. I go back and forth between feeling like i need to take time out for myself, and maybe forgetting myself all together and getting lost in the joy of parenting, being a wife, and my beautiful children.
Last week Ashley Tanner gave a lesson and referenced Marjorie Hinckley and her desire to get all out of life she could. She talks of wanting to meet God, not in her Sunday best but covered in dirt from gardening, peanut butter on her shirt from making sandwiches for her grand children and every other sign that she had squeezed every moment out of life. Ashley went on to say that some days she is so tired. I know those days. The ones where i have been depleted of all physical energy from being "consistent" with time out. But, Ashley said, she realized she wants to be tired, exhausted even , that way she knows she is giving it everything she has.
I related very strongly to this. I didn't want to spend one more second bummed about the hardships of parenting. Instead i wanted to be there for every bedtime story, every silly laugh and all the teaching moments, even if i had to be wiped out to do it.
This wasn't this weeks talks, but there was a wonderful quote from last week that tied into this weeks topic which was "avoiding pride, being humble".
Well i just realized it has disappeared from my fridge door, but to some it up, it says that if we become a person with more substance, through reading our scriptures and increasing our relationship with the savior, it will be easier to find ourselves because there will be more of us to find.
I felt this pertained particularly to mothers because i have heard countless women say that they had to find themselves after having children, as did i. I also heard in a talk that when we are feeling that way, we need to strengthen our relationship with our heavenly Father and the savior. So this quote really said it in a way that made sense.
This brings me to what i learned today. The speaker was quoting an apostle (like i said i was wiping boogers), and she said, Humility is not about thinking less of ourselves, but thinking less about ourselves. I love that. So i can be a fantastic and wonderful person with great worth, but the trick is to know that and spend little time thinking about it. We should serve and love and our "Substance" will increase and we will find ourselves as mothers and every other role that sometimes muddles our true worth. But as you can see, being a mother is what makes me truly Fantastic! So i hope this fills you with strength and joy it did me. I would have just written this in my journal but it was in Bostons room and he was sleeping! I just want all of you to know that i have a testimony that Jesus Christ is my Savior and he loves me. He is my Elder brother and through him i can return to live with my Father in Heaven again.